Can a Kid in a Candy Store Be Rational?

by Nate Sawyer, Reach Therapist Intern

     I was walking through the grocery store the other day when all of the sudden I heard this horrible shrieking and yelling. The noise was so loud, sustained, and obnoxious that I had to find it’s source. I peered around the corner of the cereal isle like a spy trying not to be too obvious. I saw what appeared to be a four or five year old boy flailing around on the floor and screaming. He was violent as if someone had stabbed him in the back with a knife! The child was reaching for something that his parents would not allow him to have. His parents were clearly not giving into his demands, so as he followed them walking away, I thought the war was over; nope it was only getting started. The child continued screaming and yelling following his parents around the store yelling so loud that everyone could hear his every move. I must say that this was probably the closest to a shopping trip from hell that I have ever experienced.

     But what does a parent do? Do they give in to stop the carnage or fight the good fight as they lose their hearing and dignity slowly?
   
      Every parent has likely encountered a similar battle at some point in his or her child-rearing career. How should I respond, do I respond, how can I keep my cool? For many parents, the response is one of mirroring their child by yelling, “because I said so,” or ignoring them, much like the incident in the grocery store. What should the response be? I suggest that ignoring or taking what appears to be the easy way out, is not the answer. Many children are developing their emotions and cognitions craving someone to explain, reason, and create boundaries with their growing intellect. The parent needs to be clear with the child why they are not getting what they want. I realize that this is easier said then done. In the heat of the moment, it is important for parents to not simply just react. Being proactive in incidents such as these can serve as a teaching moment for the growing little one. These teaching moments can help a kid in a candy store be rational and possibly spare embarrassing tantrums in the future.