Kristen said "I didn't realize that I needed a much bugger toolbox to have confrontations and disagreements with people." Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but it also means that person will be able to make you more upset than you ever thought you could be! Couples therapy is a safe place to discuss difficult topics and emotions, and get "tools" (e.g., communication skills, specific behavioral strategies) for dealing with inevitable conflict. Kristen also compares going to therapy to using a personal trainer or a recipe - note that you're doing hard work, but the results are worth it!
Dax said "In my previous relationship, we went to couples'therapy at the end, and that's often too late. You can't go after nine years and start figuring out what patterns you're in." It's true that most people treat couples therapy as a last resort - what you try before hiring a lawyer. It's much more effective to use couples therapy as a preventive and maintenance strategy - learn what to do before things get bad, and then get regular boosters, since it's easier to get lazy!
Kristen said "There may be something that really hurt your feelings that you're scared to bring up. Go talk about it with a therapist who can mediate. You'll walk out of the room feeling like you're [on the same] team." The ultimate goal of therapy is to have partners working together for a healthy relationship, knowing that they can always come back if needed!
Remember, you can get low-cost couples therapy at Pfeiffer Institute Reach. Call 919-941-2900 or email contact@pfeifferreach.org today for your appointment!
Laura Bryan, PhD, LMFT
Clinic Director, Pfeiffer Institute Reach
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