Good Grief

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Good Grief! Where did that saying originate?

 It has been suggested that “Good Grief” is probably a censored expression used as a euphemism for “Good God" or "Good Lord”. Something said when a person is annoyed or irritated.  Interestingly, being annoyed or irritated may be indicators that you may be dealing with issues of grief. We typically consider grief to be an appropriate emotion when we have lost a love one, which it is. However, a person can experience the symptoms of grief for a whole host of reasons. A few of those reasons could be a loss of a job, loss of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of a personal dream or a romantic relationship. The loss of anything important to you could cause feelings of grief.

With a loss there are often unspoken expectations as to how long it should take for you to “get over it.” Grief is a healthy emotion that is also a good marker in the days, weeks, and months following a loss to assess your recovery process. Unfortunately for some, if recovering from your loss doesn’t happen in the culturally prescribed amount of time it can feel pretty lonely and isolating. Grief that has not been processed or has been suppressed can cause increased irritability, numbness, bitterness, detachment, preoccupation with loss, and an inability to show or experience joy. Grief can manifest in your physical body as well, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, chest pains, and sore muscles may be symptoms of prolonged grief.

 Loss isn’t something most people can walk away from without an emotional response. Grief is the emotional reaction experienced when someone or something you love has been removed from you. The intensity of the grief is based on the individual and the significance of their loss.  If you or someone you know is struggling with a loss, we at Pfeiffer Institute Reach want to be a resource you can come to for help. Do your grief some good and give us a call (919) 941-2900 or send an email to pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu.

You Do Not Have to Walk Alone

by Liberty Riley, Reach Therapist Intern

Losing someone you love is hard. Death is never, ever easy. Even when death brings the relief of long-lived pain, it begins a lifetime of hurt, ache, and sadness for those who cared for and loved the person who passed away. Making things even more difficult are the anniversaries: the birthday that is no longer, the date of death, holidays, and personal anniversaries. Life seems to be fraught with reminders of a life once lived and a life now lost.

Being the person who lost a parent, child, sibling, or beloved friend, the pain is real and the loss is deep. Sometimes we try to move forward not knowing how to fill the void that now exists where that person once lived. We can be left feeling orphaned, sad, lonely, angry, confused, and sometimes, depressed.

How do we move out of the pain of our loss and move into a place where we can celebrate a life lived?  How can we put one foot in front of the other in order to honor the person we loved so much?

These questions are not easily answered, but they are often asked. The truth is, the pain of our losses may last a lifetime, but most likely, a time will come when we are able to realize that we are not living without the person we loved, we are simply living with him or her differently. They are no longer in the physical realm, but they are in our mental realm; they are in our hearts, our memories, and our thoughts. If we keep people alive inside of us, they can never be truly gone.

If you have suffered the loss of someone you loved and you need help putting one foot in front of the other, please contact a therapist intern at Pfeiffer Institute Reach at (919) 941-2900. We will walk through this time of pain with you; you do not have to get through this difficult time alone.