Good Grief

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Good Grief! Where did that saying originate?

 It has been suggested that “Good Grief” is probably a censored expression used as a euphemism for “Good God" or "Good Lord”. Something said when a person is annoyed or irritated.  Interestingly, being annoyed or irritated may be indicators that you may be dealing with issues of grief. We typically consider grief to be an appropriate emotion when we have lost a love one, which it is. However, a person can experience the symptoms of grief for a whole host of reasons. A few of those reasons could be a loss of a job, loss of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of a personal dream or a romantic relationship. The loss of anything important to you could cause feelings of grief.

With a loss there are often unspoken expectations as to how long it should take for you to “get over it.” Grief is a healthy emotion that is also a good marker in the days, weeks, and months following a loss to assess your recovery process. Unfortunately for some, if recovering from your loss doesn’t happen in the culturally prescribed amount of time it can feel pretty lonely and isolating. Grief that has not been processed or has been suppressed can cause increased irritability, numbness, bitterness, detachment, preoccupation with loss, and an inability to show or experience joy. Grief can manifest in your physical body as well, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, chest pains, and sore muscles may be symptoms of prolonged grief.

 Loss isn’t something most people can walk away from without an emotional response. Grief is the emotional reaction experienced when someone or something you love has been removed from you. The intensity of the grief is based on the individual and the significance of their loss.  If you or someone you know is struggling with a loss, we at Pfeiffer Institute Reach want to be a resource you can come to for help. Do your grief some good and give us a call (919) 941-2900 or send an email to pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu.

Stressed Out!

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

STRESSED! This is a common theme for most people today. The art of multitasking and overcommitting pretty much assures us to have a stressful existence. So what do we really know about stress and how it affects us?  Each of us carries stress differently.  Stress can manifest as anxiety, or withdrawal, or even irritation.  Realizing what triggers your stress and how it manifests is the first step in beginning to manage your stress. What stresses you out may not be something that others consider to be stressful.  Understanding that we all handle and experience stress differently is a key point to remember. 

Is there such a thing as good stress? Well, stress is neither good nor bad but rather a matter of how we use it. Stress can be a motivator to get things finished or started! It can also be a survival tool directing us to safety if needed. Whether stress is good or bad typically is determined by the amount of stress you have going on in your life.

Managing stress can seem like an overwhelming task, just another thing to add to my list of “things to do.” Have you ever read an article on How to Reduce Your Stress and felt like the suggestions offered would stress you out even more if you did them? I have. The key to managing stress is to figure out what works best for you. It is important to figure out what are healthy ways for you to manage your stress. 

Stress is sneaky. Just because you may not be manifesting symptoms of stress doesn’t mean you are not stressed. If being highly stressed has become the norm for you, be aware that is it taking its toll on your mind and body. It is slowly wearing you out. Fatigue, forgetfulness, and loss of productivity are just some of the symptoms of long-term stress.  Building up your stress relief options and using them, will help you stock up your reserve for when highly stressful times occur. 

Remember, the key to reducing stress is finding what works for you and then incorporating into your life right now. Even little steps in the direction of stress reduction will give you a great return on you efforts. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed in your life and could use some help in untangling and prioritizing your life, Give Pfeiffer Institute Reach a call today! (919) 941-2900.

Anger: It's What You Do With It That Counts

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Have you ever blown up at someone and after you cooled down you felt guilty and wondered… “Why am I so angry?” Anger is an emotion that is neither good nor bad. It is a normal healthy emotion and feeling angry isn’t the problem, it’s how you handle that emotion that makes the difference.  If the way you handle your anger is hurting yourself or someone else it might be time to take a look at what is really going on.

Out of control anger can hurt your physical health.  Chronic anger increases your likelihood of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, insomnia, higher cholesterol levels, and a weakened immune system.

Out of control anger can hurt your mental health. Chronic anger can lead to stress, depression, and can consume a lot of your mental energy. It can make it more difficult to concentrate, see the big picture, and diminishes your ability to enjoy life.

Out of control anger can hurt your relationships with others.  Explosive anger can be very damaging on children and leave lifelong scars on the people you love most. It can get in the way of friendships and work or school relationships. Chronic anger puts those around you on pins and needles because they never know what will trigger an outburst.

So, back to the original question… Why am I so angry? For some of us, anger is the emotion that is used to cover up other feelings. If your knee jerk reaction in intense situations is anger, there’s a good chance that your anger is covering up some of the primary feelings like embarrassment, vulnerability, hurt, shame, or insecurity.

If you are ready to get a handle on how anger is controlling you, give us a call at Pfeiffer Institute Reach (919) 941-2900. We’re here for you!