It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year -- Or is it? A Holiday Survival Guide

by Mackenzie Toland, Reach Therapist Intern

It’s that time of year again. Time for turkey, holiday parties, and, oh yeah, stress. For many people holidays are full of great memories and happy families. Unfortunately, that is not the experience of everyone. There are many people suffering at holiday time because of family loss, financial burden, and unrealistic expectations. Below, you will find some helpful tips that will help you keep the ‘happy’ in ‘Happy Holidays.’

Dealing with Holiday Stress:

Coming down with a case of the Grinch? Take some time for yourself. It is important to do things that you like to do even during the season of giving. Make a list of healthy things that you do to help you relax and make a point to do them as a well deserved gift to yourself.

Dealing with Depression:

You may have been invited to a holiday party but the winter blues have you bogged down. Try and resist the urge to close your blinds and lock yourself in your house with a box of tissues. Recruit a close friend to go with you to the party so that you aren’t feeling left out. Try turning up your favorite tunes in the car on the way there to get you in the right mood.

Dealing with Loss:

You may have just lost a loved one and are dreading the approaching holiday season. You may not have a loved one near to share Thanksgiving with. Consider a ‘Friendsgiving’, a day when you thank your friends for the love and support that they have for you during this difficult time.

Dealing with Financial Burden:

The holidays can be stressful, especially on your wallet. Some great solutions that are always options are Secret Santa and making gifts for someone. There is nothing more wonderful than a batch of homemade cookies. One thing that would be great to do would be to take an afternoon and volunteer at a local soup kitchen. You will be able to help first hand those truly in need and be able to give them one of the greatest gifts of all, your time.

Engaged or Newly Married:

The first holiday season together is a particularly difficult situation to navigate. Who’s holiday do we celebrate? Where do we go? How much do we spend on our friends and family?  So many questions to work through with your significant other and unfortunately, you may not be agreeing. Work together to make a schedule that fulfills both partners’ needs. You could also create a new holiday tradition with your new family together. Whatever you choose, don’t forget the most important thing, to love each other.

The holidays can be a very stressful time and hopefully the tips above are helpful for you. Try and remember what has been helpful for you in the past and you can find the strength within yourself to get through it. Having some extra support is always helpful as well. Pfeiffer institute reach has the support you need tailored to you. See you soon!

Balancing Work and Family

by Byron Coley, Reach Therapist Intern

Approximately 58.9% of married couple families with children under 18 are dual earners (Walsh, 2012, p. 79).  In addition to raising children, and dealing with issues associated with being a spouse, parents are responsible for a variety of things that often yield stress.  Many families unfortunately also have to deal with illness, disability, death, and loss, and may struggle with unemployment and financial hardships (Walsh, 2012, p. 78).  Having a dual-earner household often takes pressure off onf one parent to provide for the family, and also provides a sense of equality within the couple.

The strains caused by work related factors alone can alone cause a great deal of distress.  The pressure of providing financial security has a great impact in that stress, and often causes individuals to hold multiples jobs, and work 40-70 hours a week.  According to Ford (2011), families with lower household incomes have higher levels of stress, compared to those with higher household incomes.  A lower household income not only adds financial strain to the family, it also creates issues within the parental system that is are not easily overcome.  Although their intentions may be good, it could actually be more harmful for parents to work excessive jobs or hours.  Matthews, Swody, and Barnes (2012) found, individuals who work longer hours report more work-family conflict.

Job Stress

Stress incurred on the job has a big role in individual satisfaction and family stress.  Wang, Rapetti, and Campos (2011) state, “chronic job stress can influence the social life of a family through its impact on an employed member's psychological health and energy reserves” (p. 442).  Because of this deduction in energy reserves, individuals often withdraw from social interactions, or have a negative  mood.  This withdrawal from family interactions causes a disconnect within the family system, which adds to the already heavy strain of the work-family relationship.

Balancing Work and Family

Juggling multiple roles can have both positive and negative benefits on an individual and the family system.  Parents should design a plan of how they will separate work and family life.

According to Walsh (2012), when balancing work and family, it is necessary for families to consider the following:

-Prioritize family time and well-being

-Emphasize overall equality and partnership, including joint responsibility for housework, and equal influence over finances

-Sharing the child care and “emotion work” of family life

-Maximizing fun at home, and concentrating on work while at the workplace

-Create rituals for saying good-bye to children and for reengaging after work

-Maintaining focused, uninterrupted time with kids just to “hang out”

-Take time to decompress after particularly stressful work days

Where to Get Help

If you are struggling to find balance between work and family, personal and relationship needs, make an appointment to see a Reach therapist intern today!

References

     Ford, M. T. (2011). Linking household income and work-family conflict: A moderated mediation study. Stress and Health: Journal O f The International Society For The Investigation Of Stress, 27(2), 144-162. http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/smi.1328

     Matthews, R. A., Swody, C. A., & Barnes-Farrell, J. L. (2012). Work hours and work-family conflict: The double-edged sword of involvement in work and family. Journal Of The International Society For The Investigation Of Stress, 28(3), 234-247. http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/smi.1431

     Walsh, F. (2012). Normal family processes. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.

     Wang, S., Repetti, R. L., & Campos, B. (2011). Job stress and family social behavior: The moderating role of neuroticism. Journal Of Occupational Health Psychology, 16(4), 441-456. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0025100

Stress Management

by EJ Hanks, Reach Therapist Intern

Stress is all around us.  It can arise in many forms including dealing with monthly bills, coordinating family duties, handling school responsibilities, professional commitments, and major life events, such as births, marriages, divorces, and deaths.  Sometimes you may feel that you are losing control and cannot keep up with the demands of your life.  Stress can make you irritable, angry, and frustrated toward everyone around you.  Feeling anxious and emotional or having difficulty eating and sleeping can also be responses to stress. Without good stress management skills, our health and relationships with others will suffer. While certain stressors are ultimately unavoidable, we can minimize how we react to stress by finding a healthy and manageable balance. 

Managing stress is all about taking charge: of your thoughts, emotions, calendar, and the way you react to problems.  Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life.  While not always obvious, what are the regular stressors in your life and how you deal with them?  Keeping a stress log or journal can help you spot the things that cause you to feel stressed and how you responded to the event.  Once you recognize these stressors, you can begin to take action to lessen their impact on your life.

Successful coping with these stressful events requires rearranging our lives to decrease the demands on us and, more importantly, learning new coping skills to increase the resources available to us.  Some tips on helping decrease your reactions to stressful events:

• Lead a healthy lifestyle – Eat nutritious, well balanced meals; get plenty of sleep; exercise

• Avoid drugs and alcohol – May seem to help cope temporarily, but they cause greater long term and permanent harm

• Increase your social network – Talk to family, friends and others; participate in community or other social activities to make new friends

• Do something you enjoy -  Take up a hobby or try something new and exciting

• Relax – Take a break when you are feeling overwhelmed; try mindfulness, yoga, or get a massage

• Recognize when you need more help – When your methods of stress reduction do not seem to work or you are thinking about suicide, see your doctor or therapist. 

Some stress relievers may work better than others for your individual situation.  If one method does not work, try another one.  Keep a journal or a list of the types of events and the successful type of stress reliever that you used.

If you're looking for extra support and guidance through dealing with stress, another challenging situation, or you're just ready to move in a new direction in your life, Therapist Interns at Pfeiffer Institute Reach look forward to working with you, your partner, or your family to achieve your goals.