PREPARE/ENRICH – A tool to help build a strong marriage from the beginning

by Mackenzie Toland, Reach Therapist Intern

You are newly engaged and your relationship is soaring. Everywhere you turn people are chattering about the new bride and groom and the latest and greatest wedding venues. 

This brings butterflies to your stomach… a new kind of butterflies. 

Questions flood your mind: What does it mean to be a husband/wife? What about finances? Where will we live? Who will do what after we are married? Will our relationship be a lasting relationship? How will we know?

New challenges are arising in your relationship and as a PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator, I am happy to tell you that there are tools to help you build the strong marriage that you truly desire. None of us are built to be the ‘perfect’ husband or ‘perfect’ wife and that’s okay. What’s important is that you are working together in new ways to grow as a couple. 

You may be wondering… What does it look like to be in premarital counseling? 

Here is basic run down of what PREPARE/ENRICH looks like: 

It starts with a questionnaire that you and your fiancé fill out separate from one another. There are no right or wrong answers and your facilitator is NOT going to say, “Oh no, they answered this question wrong and they are doomed.” Your facilitator believes in premarital counseling and they believe in you. 

Your facilitator will then use your strengths that shine through the questionnaire to help build your growth areas together as a couple. There are great activities that can help you and your fiancé grow in areas like communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and more.

In general, it is important to attend at least 8-12 sessions along with your partner. Some couples enjoy learning about each other and growing together in this positive setting so much that they stay for more! 

What are you waiting for? Let us help you build a strong relationship foundation at the Pfeiffer Institute Reach clinic with our trained PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator(s). Our low cost will help you grow with your partner without breaking the bank. 

FREE SCREENING SESSION DURING NATIONAL DEPRESSION SCREENING WEEK

In recognition of National Depression Screening Day (Oct. 10), Pfeiffer Institute Reach will offer free screenings and reviews with a clinician FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK. Screenings, which can remain anonymous, include measures assessing depression, anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. Participants can choose to review their results with a clinician, who can offer potential resources. 

All of this for FREE! Appointments are encouraged but not necessary.

Parenting: Being the "Bad Guy"

by Byron Coley, Reach Therapist Intern

Being a parent is perhaps the most rewarding, and important relationship one can have.  Not only will the parent/guardian have a significant effect on the child’s life, the child will also have an equal influence on the life of the parent.  For this reason, it is of dire importance that parents raise their children in a manner that prepares them for life outside of “home,” and to also instill in them qualities such as: respect, courtesy, obedience, compassion, and benevolence.   

Especially in the case of single parents, particularly those who have children at a relatively young age, it is not uncommon for parent-child bond to be very close-knit, or even enmeshed.  This is by no means a negative quality to have in any kind of relationship (being close to one another).  However, individuals must understand their role in whatever type of relationship they are in, which can begin by constructing a detailed image of how they view that role.  While is it great to have a friendly rapport with your children, it can become harmful to the relationship when a parents’ kindness is misinterpreted or exploited.    

Children naturally have a high level of curiosity, and will often test their boundaries; particularly ones put in place by their parents.  This is not reason to label a child “bad” or a “problem child.”  In fact this is an essential part of child development, and allows the child to learn what is right and wrong.  These lessons come from their environment as a whole, but parents also play a very special role in this part of development.  While it may be difficult to chastise, or as some parents describe as “being the bad guy,” it is such a significant facet of the child’s life.

Parents are responsible for showing their children unconditional love, but are also charged with teaching them principles, which will often entail telling them when are wrong.  Though it may be easier to be the “good guy,” parents must realize that their children will have plenty of friends in their lifetime.  What children need from their parent(s) is something that cannot be easily replaced.  The values that they receive from their parent(s) will accompany them throughout their lifetime.  As you are creating your image of how you view parenting, consider that everything you will do for them, whether they like it or not, is done out of love.  

One day, when your children are adults, your relationship with them will change.  They will realize all that you have done for them and will be thankful for the times you lifted them up, and also for times in which you were tough on them.

Parenting a Child with ADHD: RISE to the Occasion

by Jearilyn Singleton, Reach Therapist Intern

Has your child been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)? Feel like you’re not getting it “right” as a parent? Well, fret no longer. Help has arrived! If you can remember that all you have to do is RISE to the occasion -- focusing on routines, interests, simple rewards, and exercise; -- you will be able to see the sunshine in the midst of so many dark clouds. So, let’s break down what it means to RISE to the occasion:

Routine: It is important for children with ADHD to have a routine. Not only does a routine help keep you sane as a parent;, iIt helps children with ADHD learn to regulate. If they have a regimented schedule and know what to expect, it is easier for them to complete tasks and fulfill obligations. Sit down and create a routine or schedule with your child. Allowing them to get involved in the process is great and gives them a sense of control and ownership. Review expectations and remain consistent. Consistency is key when parenting a child with ADHD.

Interests: Know what your children are interested in and get interested in it too! I think it’s funny how people claim children with ADHD can’t sit still for long periods of time but they can sit in one spot and play a video game for hours! Children can focus when they are truly interested. Find out what positive and productive activities your children are interested in and encourage them to focus their attention on those interests. 

Simple rewards: Parents of children with ADHD often focus on the negative. Start finding the exceptions in your children’s behaviors and reward them when they do well! It doesn’t have to be an extravagant reward either. Maybe if they're able to complete their homework without getting distracted then they get an extra 10 minutes of television before bed. Small, simple rewards show children that you recognize that they are trying. It also makes them more aware and purposeful with their actions. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Exercise: Children with ADHD have tons of energy! Parents often report that they feel like their children are “bouncing off the walls.” What better way to channel this energy than through exercise? Encourage your children to put down the video games, cell phones, and toys and get moving. Working out can be fun! Play a game outside with your children (like basketball or jumping rope), ride bikes after dinner as a family, or just let them run around until they just can’t run any more. Not only is daily exercise healthy for you and your children, it helps release a lot of energy and can have a calming effect. 

If you can remember to implement these simple steps, you can RISE to the occasion every time! Not only will you feel more capable and in control as a parent, you will also find opportunities to bond with your children and help them channel their excess energy in a more positive manner. And, to all the parents of children without ADHD, you can use these simple steps too! Change the way you view and interact with your children. I challenge you to RISE to the occasion today!