Invest in Your Relationship

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

How much are you investing in your relationship? Would you like to see that investment pay off?

Prepare/Enrich is a relationship assessment tool that really zeros in on the areas and issues in every relationship. This assessment will be tailor made based on your answers. The assessment provides you with valuable information about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. It highlights the relationship strengths and also where there are opportunities for growth. It is not a test so you don’t need to worry about passing it.

As a Prepare/Enrich facilitator, I have found this tool can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship. If you are considering premarital counseling, Prepare Enrich asks all the questions you might not know to ask before you are married. If you want to enrich your relationship, the Prepare/Enrich assessment clearly indicates the areas of focus. If your relationship feels like it is in trouble, the assessment and accompanying curriculum provide tools to explore and pinpoint specific areas of concern.

Relationships are precious and need to be nurtured to thrive. For a $35.00 assessment fee a couple receives an accurate relationship inventory. Pfeiffer Institute Reach is offering a Prepare/Enrich workshop on Saturday, April 2nd. Please join us and see your investment grow!

Improve Your Relationship!

Relationship Dynamics and Feedback Loops

     One of my favorite things about using the Prepare/Enrich assessment is the amazing amount of useful information contained in the report. For example, there are sections on personal stress, communication, conflict resolution, and much more. In the space of an hour, the couple provides detailed information that I, as the trained facilitator, can then use to help target and guide our sessions together. Very efficient and effective!
     One of the first sections I review is Relationship Dynamics, which consists of four elements: assertiveness, self-confidence, avoidance, and partner dominance. As implied by the word “dynamics” (according to Dictionary.com, “pertaining to or characterized by energy or effective action”), the elements interact with each other in particular ways. For example, assertiveness, or the ability to “say what you mean and mean what you say” without being mean, is related to self-confidence (how positive you feel about yourself and your abilities). It makes sense that someone who has high self-confidence is able to be assertive, and vice versa. Likewise, someone low in assertiveness will probably express low self-confidence. We call that type of mutual influence a “feedback loop.” Because these two elements relate in this way, changes made to one will affect the other; if a trained facilitator helps a partner be more assertive in his/her communication, that partner’s his/her self-confidence will likely increase.

     Similarly, avoidance – the tendency to “beat around the bush” rather than explicitly state wants or needs – is related to partner dominance, or how much one feels dominated by their partner. Again, the connection makes sense: when a partner feels controlled, s/he is unlikely to feel s/he can speak up plainly. In this case, though, the feedback loop has negative consequences: as avoidance increases, partner dominance is likely to increase as well, which is detrimental for the relationship. A trained facilitator can still use this loop to advantage by decreasing avoidance (i.e., helping a partner clearly express wants and needs), which allows the “dominating” partner to step back.
     As you can see, just the information contained in this one section of the report tells me a lot about the couple – about each partner, about the relationship, and about where I can make suggestions for change. Like the entire Prepare/Enrich assessment, this section is not about who is to blame or how one person is wrong. Both partners are involved in problem creation and maintenance, as well as resolution and improvement. The information about Relationship Dynamics helps me know how to help the couple make changes to strengthen and improve their relationship – that’s what it’s all about!
     Remember, there are several Therapist Interns at Pfeiffer Institute Reach who are trained Prepare/Enrich facilitators, and the services are affordable. Schedule your appointment today! 919-941-2900 or pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu

Laura Bryan, PhD, LMFT
This post can also be found on the Prepare/Enrich blog: https://blog.prepare-enrich.com/2015/11/relationship-dynamics-feedback-loops/

June Wedding, Lifetime Relationship

June is here, the most popular month for weddings. Did you ever wonder why? According to The Old Farmer's Almanac, "the goddess Juno was the protector of women in almost all aspects of life, but especially in marriage and childbearing, so a wedding in Juno's month was considered most auspicious." Plus the weather is generally cooperative, many people take vacations, and there are plenty of flowers to choose from!

If you're getting married - congratulations!! Planning a wedding takes a lot of time, coordination, and MONEY! The average cost of a wedding is $25,200, although most couples spend less than $10,000 (see http://www.costofwedding.com/). Thousands of dollars and thousands of hours spent on making this most important of days as perfect as possible, as "auspicious" a start as could be imagined.

What if more of that time, effort, and yes, even money, went toward preparing for the marriage? Think about it - the wedding is a single, albeit very important, day, but it's the start of a lifetime commitment. What if couples were able to learn more about how to manage the "for worse" that life will bring, before it actually arrives? That's the idea behind Prepare/Enrich, an online relationship assessment. Each member of the couple completes the assessment separately, then meet together with a trained facilitator to review the personalized results. 

Prepare/Enrich is great for premarital and newlywed couples as a "preventive" measure, and it's also helpful for couples who have been together for a while. Prepare/Enrich highlights areas of strength as well as issues that need attention, then builds skills to manage those issues. The assessment is only $35/couple, and sessions with a trained facilitator at Pfeiffer Institute Reach are only $30 (sliding scale available; see more here). Put your time and resources toward strengthening and improving your relationship - Reach for a better tomorrow...today! 919-941-2900 or contact@pfeifferreach.org. 

More Prepare/Enrich Facilitators On the Way!

This weekend, six Therapist Interns at Pfeiffer Institute Reach will participate in a training workshop to become facilitators for Prepare/Enrich. That will bring us to a total of ELEVEN Therapist Interns trained as guides through the Prepare/Enrich process. It's is a great time to have this additional training, since during the month of February the FIRST COUPLE SESSION is FREE! 

What is Prepare/Enrich? It's an online assessment that couples complete on their own time, then meet with a trained facilitator to go over the results. The assessment is customized for each couple, and explores both strength and growth areas over the course of 4-8 sessions. The facilitator helps the couple examine their results, learn communication skills, identify stressors, resolve conflict, explore family issues, and establish personal and relationship goals.

Prepare/Enrich is often used with premarital and dating couples, as it is a good way to explore topics that are often avoided in beginning relationships (things like money, sex, kids...). Prepare/Enrich can also benefit established relationships by highlighting strengths that might have been forgotten, and examining growth areas in new and productive ways. The assessment can be used for both enrichment and counseling. Click here to learn more about the assessment, including the strong research support.

The Prepare/Enrich assessment is an additional charge ($35 per couple), but with the low cost of sessions at Reach - and the first couple session FREE during February - it's a great investment in the future of your relationship! Call today (919-941-2900) and ask for a Prepare/Enrich Therapist Intern!

Parenting and Prepare/Enrich

Does this picture look familiar: Angry and frustrated parent trying to get across to a child who seems to be resistant and disrespectful? If that's you - or if you worry that could be you in the future - Pfeiffer Institute Reach has a few ways to help.

1. FREE Parenting Workshop: On Saturday, September 20, there will be a FREE Parenting Workshop focused on appropriate discipline and building a positive relationship with your child. At the same time, there will be a workshop for children ages 6-12 where kids can learn about emotional regulation in a fun and creative environment. Call 919-941-2900 today to reserve your place at the workshop.

2. Couple or family therapy focused on kids and parents: You can schedule an appointment with a Therapist Intern who is trained to talk to you, your-co-parent, and your kids about how to make family life better. No matter the issue - going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting homework done, relationships with siblings or peers, communication among family members - sitting down with someone trained to help can be a great investment of time and money that really pays off in the near and distant future.

3. Prepare/Enrich, the online relationship assessment tool, has a new version specifically to help couples with parenting issues. Maybe you and your partner have different parenting styles, maybe you're creating a blended family, or maybe you need to strengthen communication with your children and partner. Remember, Pfeiffer Institute Reach has nine Therapist Interns trained as Prepare/Enrich facilitators. You can meet with them to go over your Prepare/Enrich Parenting Version results and decide what's going to work best for your family in the future.

Don't have kids yet? You can take the "regular" version of Prepare/Enrich and find out more about your own approach and your partner's.

Make the first step to improve your family relationships - Call Pfeiffer Institute Reach today!

More Therapist Interns Trained in Prepare/Enrich

This past weekend, four Therapist Interns participated in a training workshop which qualified them as Prepare/Enrich Facilitators. This brings us to a grand total of NINE trained facilitators. What does this mean for you? I'll let the creators speak for themselves (this information is copied from the website; emphases mine).

     PREPARE/ENRICH is the leading relationship inventory and skill-building program used nationally and internationally.  It is built on a solid research foundation and significantly improves a couple's relationship. PREPARE/ENRICH is custom tailored to a couple's relationship and provides couple exercises to build their relationship skills.
     The main component of the program is an online survey you each complete in about 30-45 minutes. PREPARE/ENRICH is not just any survey. The items you respond to are based on research and are intended to help you identify the unique strengths and potential growth areas of your premarital or married relationship. You'll meet with a facilitator trained to provide feedback by helping you understand your results and learn important relationship skills. Built on a solid research foundation, PREPARE/ENRICH has been improved and refined over the years to become one of the best, most effective, easy-to-use relationship assessment tools available.
     PREPARE/ENRICH is a customized couple assessment completed online that identifies a couple's strength and growth areas. It is one of the most widely used programs for premarital counseling and premarital education. It is also used for marriage counseling, marriage enrichment, and dating couples considering engagement. Based on a couple's assessment results, a trained facilitator provides 4-8 feedback sessions in which the facilitator helps the couple discuss and understand their results as they are taught proven relationship skills.

Did this sound interesting to you? At Pfeiffer Institute Reach, you can work with a Therapist Intern trained as a Prepare/Enrich Facilitator for a low per-session cost ($30, with a sliding scale for those in need). There are even specialized versions of Prepare/Enrich for couples considering adopting or fostering a child, and for any couples who are parents. The assessment itself is $35. A minor monetary investment in a priceless relationship!

February: The Month of Couples

by Milliann Abrams
   
     As February is now upon us, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. It is a holiday that couples spend together, celebrating their love. It is also a time to think about what factors go into that relationship to make it so successful. Communication, trust, and commitment are certainly important qualities in maintaining a successful relationship. What else maintains that successful, satisfying relationship? Closeness? Satisfaction? Intimacy? Happiness? Similarity? Differentness?

     Each couple is unique. What works for one couple might not work for another. It is important to be aware of your own needs and wants and also your partners when in a romantic relationship. One way to do this is through check-ins with your partner, spending time addressing how you both feel about the relationship.

     Hitting speed bumps or obstacles can be common in romantic relationships, especially new ones where both partners are still learning about each other and what it means to be a couple. Resolving those issues successfully is key to a healthy functioning relationship where both partners are satisfied.

     Sometimes relationships get tested, but these factors help to keep couples bonded. If you are struggling with any of these elements, want to strengthen your bond with your partner, need help resolving any obstacles, or are just curious, Pfeiffer Institute Reach offers Prepare/Enrich assessments and therapy for couples. Make an appointment to see a Prepare/ and Enrich- trained therapist intern today!

PREPARE/ENRICH – A tool to help build a strong marriage from the beginning

by Mackenzie Toland, Reach Therapist Intern

You are newly engaged and your relationship is soaring. Everywhere you turn people are chattering about the new bride and groom and the latest and greatest wedding venues. 

This brings butterflies to your stomach… a new kind of butterflies. 

Questions flood your mind: What does it mean to be a husband/wife? What about finances? Where will we live? Who will do what after we are married? Will our relationship be a lasting relationship? How will we know?

New challenges are arising in your relationship and as a PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator, I am happy to tell you that there are tools to help you build the strong marriage that you truly desire. None of us are built to be the ‘perfect’ husband or ‘perfect’ wife and that’s okay. What’s important is that you are working together in new ways to grow as a couple. 

You may be wondering… What does it look like to be in premarital counseling? 

Here is basic run down of what PREPARE/ENRICH looks like: 

It starts with a questionnaire that you and your fiancé fill out separate from one another. There are no right or wrong answers and your facilitator is NOT going to say, “Oh no, they answered this question wrong and they are doomed.” Your facilitator believes in premarital counseling and they believe in you. 

Your facilitator will then use your strengths that shine through the questionnaire to help build your growth areas together as a couple. There are great activities that can help you and your fiancé grow in areas like communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and more.

In general, it is important to attend at least 8-12 sessions along with your partner. Some couples enjoy learning about each other and growing together in this positive setting so much that they stay for more! 

What are you waiting for? Let us help you build a strong relationship foundation at the Pfeiffer Institute Reach clinic with our trained PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator(s). Our low cost will help you grow with your partner without breaking the bank.