And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

Pfeiffer Institute Reach is generously supported by Pfeiffer University through the Marriage and Family Therapy Program. Pfeiffer has three campuses: the traditional undergraduate campus in Misenheimer, the graduate and degree completion programs in Charlotte, and of course the graduate programs in Raleigh/Durham. Pfeiffer is a small, private, Methodist-affiliated school dedicated to servant leadership and lifelong learning. Check out these ads, and feel free to explore the website. And thank them for supporting Pfeiffer Institute Reach and the valuable service provided to the community.

Check out this video: Learn About Pfeiffer

Getting Through When Things Are Tough - Do Something!

I'm getting to the point where I don't even want to turn on the news. Several times this week I started my day hearing about shootings, bombings, fires, and now vans. It's enough to make you want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head! Or hit something!

Neither response helps you or anyone else, though. So you get up and keep going, even when you feel overwhelmed and powerless. What can you to to make a difference - for yourself, for your family, for your community?
The most important thing is to do something. Staying still is to be stuck, to be hopeless. Instead, do something different each day. It doesn't have to be a huge change -

• Smile on your commute to work or school (and turn off talk radio). Research shows that smiling helps change your mood and the attitude of those around you.
• Cuddle with your children, pets, and/or significant other. Research shows that humans need physical contact to confirm that they're connected and loved.
• Take a break, especially in nature. I know it's hot, but get out early and/or in the shade. Being in the natural world has uplifting effects on mood and attitude.
• Take care of yourself. The "put your own oxygen on first" story is well-known for a reason - it's true! At Pfeiffer Institute Reach you can talk to a competent professional at an affordable rate. You might be surprised how much better it can feel to talk to someone who's there to listen.
• Help someone else. Volunteer, pay it forward, help load groceries for a stranger - something to remind yourself that you can make a difference, even if it doesn't make the news.

Let's hope the news gets better soon. In the meantime, do what you can to take care of yourself and your neighbor. Come see us to Reach for a better tomorrow!

Celebrate Independence!

Happy Independence Day Weekend! Enjoy your time with family and friends. Pfeiffer Institute Reach will be closed Monday, 7/4/16, but will reopen for regular hours on Tuesday. 

Reach for a better tomorrow!

Happy Fathers Day!

To all the fathers and father-figures in our lives...

Memorial Day

Good Grief

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Good Grief! Where did that saying originate?

 It has been suggested that “Good Grief” is probably a censored expression used as a euphemism for “Good God" or "Good Lord”. Something said when a person is annoyed or irritated.  Interestingly, being annoyed or irritated may be indicators that you may be dealing with issues of grief. We typically consider grief to be an appropriate emotion when we have lost a love one, which it is. However, a person can experience the symptoms of grief for a whole host of reasons. A few of those reasons could be a loss of a job, loss of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of a personal dream or a romantic relationship. The loss of anything important to you could cause feelings of grief.

With a loss there are often unspoken expectations as to how long it should take for you to “get over it.” Grief is a healthy emotion that is also a good marker in the days, weeks, and months following a loss to assess your recovery process. Unfortunately for some, if recovering from your loss doesn’t happen in the culturally prescribed amount of time it can feel pretty lonely and isolating. Grief that has not been processed or has been suppressed can cause increased irritability, numbness, bitterness, detachment, preoccupation with loss, and an inability to show or experience joy. Grief can manifest in your physical body as well, headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, chest pains, and sore muscles may be symptoms of prolonged grief.

 Loss isn’t something most people can walk away from without an emotional response. Grief is the emotional reaction experienced when someone or something you love has been removed from you. The intensity of the grief is based on the individual and the significance of their loss.  If you or someone you know is struggling with a loss, we at Pfeiffer Institute Reach want to be a resource you can come to for help. Do your grief some good and give us a call (919) 941-2900 or send an email to pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu.

Stressed Out!

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

STRESSED! This is a common theme for most people today. The art of multitasking and overcommitting pretty much assures us to have a stressful existence. So what do we really know about stress and how it affects us?  Each of us carries stress differently.  Stress can manifest as anxiety, or withdrawal, or even irritation.  Realizing what triggers your stress and how it manifests is the first step in beginning to manage your stress. What stresses you out may not be something that others consider to be stressful.  Understanding that we all handle and experience stress differently is a key point to remember. 

Is there such a thing as good stress? Well, stress is neither good nor bad but rather a matter of how we use it. Stress can be a motivator to get things finished or started! It can also be a survival tool directing us to safety if needed. Whether stress is good or bad typically is determined by the amount of stress you have going on in your life.

Managing stress can seem like an overwhelming task, just another thing to add to my list of “things to do.” Have you ever read an article on How to Reduce Your Stress and felt like the suggestions offered would stress you out even more if you did them? I have. The key to managing stress is to figure out what works best for you. It is important to figure out what are healthy ways for you to manage your stress. 

Stress is sneaky. Just because you may not be manifesting symptoms of stress doesn’t mean you are not stressed. If being highly stressed has become the norm for you, be aware that is it taking its toll on your mind and body. It is slowly wearing you out. Fatigue, forgetfulness, and loss of productivity are just some of the symptoms of long-term stress.  Building up your stress relief options and using them, will help you stock up your reserve for when highly stressful times occur. 

Remember, the key to reducing stress is finding what works for you and then incorporating into your life right now. Even little steps in the direction of stress reduction will give you a great return on you efforts. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed in your life and could use some help in untangling and prioritizing your life, Give Pfeiffer Institute Reach a call today! (919) 941-2900.

Anger: It's What You Do With It That Counts

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Have you ever blown up at someone and after you cooled down you felt guilty and wondered… “Why am I so angry?” Anger is an emotion that is neither good nor bad. It is a normal healthy emotion and feeling angry isn’t the problem, it’s how you handle that emotion that makes the difference.  If the way you handle your anger is hurting yourself or someone else it might be time to take a look at what is really going on.

Out of control anger can hurt your physical health.  Chronic anger increases your likelihood of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, insomnia, higher cholesterol levels, and a weakened immune system.

Out of control anger can hurt your mental health. Chronic anger can lead to stress, depression, and can consume a lot of your mental energy. It can make it more difficult to concentrate, see the big picture, and diminishes your ability to enjoy life.

Out of control anger can hurt your relationships with others.  Explosive anger can be very damaging on children and leave lifelong scars on the people you love most. It can get in the way of friendships and work or school relationships. Chronic anger puts those around you on pins and needles because they never know what will trigger an outburst.

So, back to the original question… Why am I so angry? For some of us, anger is the emotion that is used to cover up other feelings. If your knee jerk reaction in intense situations is anger, there’s a good chance that your anger is covering up some of the primary feelings like embarrassment, vulnerability, hurt, shame, or insecurity.

If you are ready to get a handle on how anger is controlling you, give us a call at Pfeiffer Institute Reach (919) 941-2900. We’re here for you!

Fun in Relationships

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

Today is April Fools’ Day or also called All Fools’ Day. This is a designated day of the year were practical jokes or pranks are played on friends, family, co-workers, etc., all in the name of a little fun! The positive sides of an April Fools’ Day prank are the health benefits. A good belly laugh is a great stress reliever and is also good for reducing strain on the heart.{1} It’s a great feeling to know that you can have fun and play a practical joke on someone, and when it is all said and done they will laugh along with you. That is a sign of a healthy relationship, the ability to be playful and have fun together. 

A question to ask yourself is…Are you having enough fun in your relationships to reap the health benefits associated with laughter and playfulness? Think about it? Are you a person that is fun to be around? Have you ever assessed your current relationships based on a FUN factor? There is so much negativity that inundates our realities that usually fun and games gets put on the back burner. Well, here’s a bit of trivia, April is also National Humor Month and a great time to put laughter, fun, and games as a priority in your life and your relationships. If you can’t think of the last time you had a good laugh or had a good time, you might want to consider making some changes.

We at Pfeiffer Institute Reach understand the need for having and maintaining a work/life balance. A balanced life includes making time for fun. Playing and laughing is a great way of taking care of yourself and when you do it shows!  Don’t fool yourself today, if making time for fun is something not on your calendar, Reach for the phone and give us a call, we can help. (919) 941-2900.

{1} Why April Fools’ Day is Good For Your Health – Health News and Views". News.Health.com. 1 April 2013. Retrieved 1 April 2014.

Good Friday

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

TGIF takes on a whole new meaning today. Good Friday in the Christian faith is a day that represents an amazing dichotomy, simultaneous love and suffering, with sacrifice and forgiveness. For many, today is a day of introspection and reflection. God, the Universe, a Higher Power, or your own moral compass at times, will guide you to consider your place in the bigger picture of life. To look honestly at yourself and ask the hard questions…questions like: 

“Do I lean more toward sacrifice or convenience?”
“Am I more likely to forgive or blame?”
“Do I purposefully avoid the areas in my life that are painful?”
“How loving are my relationships, and what am I willing to go through to make them healthy?”
These are scary questions because to obtain the answers that we want may mean we will be require to change, and change is difficult.

Good Friday was all about a difficult change. A major shift, so life could be experienced in a better way. What will your Good Friday be about? Is it time for you to make some shifts in your life or relationships? Is it time to stop holding a grudge or avoiding pain? The statement, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be well?” came from a sermon I heard many years ago and I’ve never forgotten it. Good Friday is all about being well; it’s about embracing what is scary and believing for a better tomorrow. Reach for it: (919) 941-2900.

Women's History Month: What's Self-Care Got To Do with It?

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

March is Women’s History Month. This is the month accomplishments of women are to be celebrated, shared, and remembered. Over the centuries, women have broken through many barriers. They have blazed trails to make a better world for all of us. Women have been successful in non-traditions jobs and careers, been strong advocates for justice, written policy, fought in the armed forces, created beautiful art and music, excelled in athletics, saved lives, broken records, taught and nurtured children, and loved fiercely and sacrificially, just to name a few.

As wonderful and exciting as it is to list the accomplishments of women, a common theme is that women are socialized to put others before themselves. For some women, this practice is where they gain their value. However, when serving others first gets out of balance it can lead to physical, emotional, and mental concerns (DiGiacomo, Davidson, Zecchin, Lamb, & Daly, 2011).

How do women make changes so they can continue to be healthy and strong in the important areas on life? The answer: Self-Care. Those two words typically get a “Yep, you’re right” response. Self-Care is often acknowledged; however, consistent follow through of truly caring for oneself is harder to maintain. In honor of Women’s History Month, let each of us look around at all the wonderful women in our lives, and encourage them to care for themselves. Some women know exactly what to do to reset back to a healthy place. Others struggle with identifying what that might look like. If you, or a woman you know, could use some help in creating a self-care plan, Pfeiffer Institute Reach is a place where that can happen.


DiGiacomo, M., Davidson, P. M., Zecchin, R., Lamb, K., & Daly, J. (2011). Caring for others, but not themselves: Implications for health care interventions in women with cardiovascular disease. Nursing Research and Practice, 1-5. doi:10.1155/2011/376020

Invest in Your Relationship

by Annette Snider, Reach Therapist Intern

How much are you investing in your relationship? Would you like to see that investment pay off?

Prepare/Enrich is a relationship assessment tool that really zeros in on the areas and issues in every relationship. This assessment will be tailor made based on your answers. The assessment provides you with valuable information about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. It highlights the relationship strengths and also where there are opportunities for growth. It is not a test so you don’t need to worry about passing it.

As a Prepare/Enrich facilitator, I have found this tool can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship. If you are considering premarital counseling, Prepare Enrich asks all the questions you might not know to ask before you are married. If you want to enrich your relationship, the Prepare/Enrich assessment clearly indicates the areas of focus. If your relationship feels like it is in trouble, the assessment and accompanying curriculum provide tools to explore and pinpoint specific areas of concern.

Relationships are precious and need to be nurtured to thrive. For a $35.00 assessment fee a couple receives an accurate relationship inventory. Pfeiffer Institute Reach is offering a Prepare/Enrich workshop on Saturday, April 2nd. Please join us and see your investment grow!

Improve Your Relationship!

Take a LEAP!

It's time to balance the calendar with a 366th day! What will you do with your "extra" day? 

According to timeanddate.com, Leap Day is when women are allowed to propose to men:

According to an old Irish legend, or possibly history, St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men – and not just the other way around – every four years.

This is believed to have been introduced to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how leap day balances the calendar.

You might not choose to do something quite that monumental, but this sort of occasion does prompt us to think about how we spend our days, and with whom, and what that relationship means to us. Take the opportunity to express your gratitude to and for your partner, your friends, your family. If those relationships are not all you want them to be, remember there is affordable and confidential individual, couple, and family therapy available at Pfeiffer Institute Reach. LEAP for it, and reach for a better tomorrow!

February Special: First Couples Session FREE!

One Carolina!

January into February...

Only ONE day left to take advantage of our January special

Reach for your appointment today: 919-941-2900 or pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu

And just wait until you see what we have planned for February...

Winter is Here!

This isn't *quite* what it looks like in NC today, but for those of us who grew up here it's close enough! Our friends from/in the Northeast may laugh at us, but our cities, roads, and drivers just aren't used to travelling in this weather, so Pfeiffer Institute Reach is CLOSED today. We'll make a decision shortly about Saturday. Those of you who had appointments today will be contacted by your therapist and/or the front desk staff to reschedule. Feel free to leave a message at the clinic (919-941-2900) or email us (pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu) - we'll be checking voicemail and email all day.

Stay warm and safe, hopefully snuggling with family and/or friends. THANK YOU to all those who can't take the day off (doctors, nurses, first responders, etc.). Take care, and reach for a better (warmer!) tomorrow.

MLK Day

Pfeiffer Institute Reach will be closed Monday, January 18, in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

FREE Stress Management Workshop

Plus remember that any first session in January is FREE!

Happy Anniversary to Reach! First Session FREE!

Sometimes it's hard to believe, but this month marks 3 YEARS that Pfeiffer Institute Reach has been serving the Raleigh/Durham are with competent individual, couple, and family therapy for an affordable fee! We're celebrating by becoming even more affordable - 

any first session is FREE for the month of January! 

Schedule your appointment today: 919-941-2900 or pfeiffer.reach@pfeiffer.edu

Happy New Year 2016!

Wishing you the best for 2016! We will be available to help your resolutions come true starting Monday, January 4.